32 of the Best Jokes You Can Find

Source: theguardian.com

Yesterday I was looking up “funny stuff” on the web to help me “design” conversations for my ESOL class. I write little plays and the students act them out in class. The scripts work a lot better if they’re funny.

So I end up going down this humor rabbit hole, which took maybe five-six hours of my time. Many, many hundreds of jokes, the vast majority not worthy of making the final cut. I picked out 32 of my favorites and I’ve kind of ranked them starting with the easiest to understand to the most indecipherable. Also, a very important qualification was that each joke had to make me laugh enough to go bother my girlfriend so she could appreciate (immediately, of course) the fruits of my labors. (She was not always so eager to read each one, which I totally can’t understand, seeing as how good each one was.) Now I’m not taking credit for having made any of these up. I’ve given each the most accurate source I could find, though (as you probably know) lots of people will take credit for the same joke.

I’d love it if you want to add one of your own favorites in the comments. That would make it better for every subsequent visitor to the page. Think of the pleasure you’d be bringing to people. Think of the community you’d be building. Think of the self-esteem you’d be accruing. Okay, enough thinking already. Here they come.

(Spoiler Alert: No dirty language here, but sexual themes definitely raise their ugly little heads on occasion.)

Source: Multi-sourced

Source: Jamie Danielle, University of the Innocent Word (Joke slightly edited.)

Source: account9211 at Reddit

Source: Roseanne Barr

Source: 9gag.com

Source: laffgaff.com

Source: Emo Phillips

Source: Frank Skinner

I heard this long ago; can’t remember where. But Google “John Wayne awe” and you’ll find a ton of references.

Source: Mark Simmons

Source: OneNoneTwo at Reddit

Source: Joe Bor

Source: Jack Whitehall

Source: Alex Horne

Source: My memory. I heard this joke a long time ago.

Source: Tom Parry (Note: I slightly edited the joke.)

Source: Daily Bad Jokes

Source: 9gag.com

Source: Tallulah Bankhead (in her autobiorgraphy)

Attributed to Groucho Marx, but Wikipedia says that’s really doubtful.

Source: Heard many years ago.

Source: Bob Monkhouse claims it, but I’ve heard this one for many years.

Source: multi-sourced

Source: sexybritishllama at Reddit

Source: laffgaff.com

Source: Annual Joke Day on NPR (or Prarie Home Companion, I can’t remember which)

Source: -eDgAR on Reddit

Source: official-german-translation

Source: multi-sourced

Source: I heard this joke from Richard Badu, a friend, many years ago.

Source: multi-sourced on the web

Source: PunnyBanana on Reddit

Okay, that’s all I got. If you have a joke that matches these in quality or, even better, leaves them in the dust, please post it in the comments section.

And thanks for participating.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
About the author: Daniel Berenson contributes to Medium now and then — in this case now — with original and unique views on such things as squirrels, politics, fairy tales, sports, and Spanish telenovelas. Please follow him or give him some claps — please be sure that’s in the plural — if you enjoyed this. Or better yet, follow him. And thanks for reading this.